Whether you fear small talk or you think that such conversations are ineffective, it is something you cannot avoid in today’s world. Talk your way to the top, seems to be the latest mantra to success. Here is the best way to feel at home in any social gathering.
Trick your brain to feel that you know the person you are just going to meet. You should assume a comfort. This will make you feel confident and likeable.
Why do you feel low on confidence or shy when you meet a stranger or go to a social get together where you don’t know many people? This is because your brain is warning you against change in state of affairs. It is telling you that you are in an unusual situation.
So, moments before and meeting a stranger, take a few seconds and imagine you are old pals with him or her. Convince yourself that people sitting in front are your best buddies. Would you feel nervous being around friends? That is the most comfortable space to be in, isn’t it? You are in charge of the way you perceive your situation, and your comfort will be infectious.
Small talk with strangers is important and crucial to attain success. One such study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology in 2014, a group of researchers looked at interactions among strangers. They recruited 118 commuters at a Chicago-area railway station and randomly assigned them one of three roles: to initiate a conversation on the train, to refrain from any conversation and enjoy the solitude or (as a control group) to do whatever they normally do on their commute. In surveys completed afterwards, those who were instructed to engage in conversations with strangers reported “significantly more positive” and “no less productive” commutes than those who rode in solitude.
Even the most successful people often experience anxiety and stress when they meet new people. So don’t blame yourself up too much if you feel extremely nervous before meeting a stranger. It’s completely normal. Assuming comfort can really help you.