From always accusing your friends of excluding you from plans to constantly complaining about life to your coworkers, toxic behaviors drain everyone around you and consume every thought inside of you. Even though we blame lost connections on various reasons, the truth is even the strongest relationships will struggle under the weight of destructive words and smothering expectations.
In spite of the guilt you may feel looking back on your past actions, remind yourself these flaws are what make you human, and your ability to accept them is what makes you exceptional. To take control of your relationships (and become aware of your potentially negative habits in them), read further for the six behaviors that are pushing people away from you.
1. Taking things too personally
Life is hard—and taking everything that happens to heart will make it even harder. This habit tends to come in the form of basing your worth on how a situation turns out. For instance, your boss giving another coworker the assignment you wanted has to mean you’re not a good worker. Or your friend asking someone else for advice has to indicate you’re not a trusted friend
Tips: Take a step back and consider who the person is to you.
Avoid jumping to conclusions.
Try to see the situation from the perspective of the other person.
If the issue needs to be confronted, prepare beforehand and approach it with a clear head.
2. Continuously being jealous
A little jealousy is good for motivation, but a lot of it is bad for everything else. While the natural feeling of jealousy can push people to become better, the constant feeling of it is the reason people become pushed away.
Tips:Be honest with yourself and consider where your jealousy stems from.
Create a list of things in your life that you’re happy about.
Turn your jealousy into fuel to improve as a person.
Contact a trusted loved one to discuss your feelings.
3. Needing constant validation
Similar to taking things too personally, the issue with needing constant validation is that it once again allows someone else to define how great you are. The more you rely on people to approve of you, the harder it becomes to find your sense of self to truly be you.
Tips:Make an effort to take time to grow as a person (find a new hobby, unplug from the online world, master a skill, etc.).
Differentiate and focus on the tasks that are important to you instead of the ones that are simply approval-seeking.
Recognize when you feel yourself depending on others for reassurance and take it upon yourself to filter these toxic thoughts.
4. Always acting like the victim
The world isn’t out to destroy you, but thinking it is could be why people seem to need space. From hiding under excuses for why you can’t apply for a job you want to listing why the wrong partners keep finding you, your problems are endless and your complaints take away your power to do anything about them.
Tips:Allow yourself to feel sad/overwhelmed, and then make plans to do something about it.
Stop yourself when you begin to blame others for your misfortunes.
Believe you can take steps to fix the situation regardless of whether what happened is out of your hands.
5. Gossiping about others
Through focusing on your own goals and cheering on those who are doing the same, you’ll soon realize you don’t have time to gossip about what other people are doing because you’re too busy doing important things yourself.
Tips:Stay quiet or state you’re not interested in gossip.
Pinpoint the underlying issue of why you’re gossiping.
Attempt to change the subject.
Say something nice about the subject of gossip.>